Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
The dating game is a tough one to play these days. People have high expectations and first impressions matter more than ever.
We made a trip down to the River Safari and came to the conclusion that bringing your girlfriend there will change your dating game for real.
Boyfriends, you’ve been warned.
1. The red pandas are so cute she might just forget about you
Really more red raccoon than red panda but full of fluffy cuteness nonetheless! Also quite atypical of pandas, these little guys are so active it was almost hard to capture a good picture of them.
Your girlfriend will be so enthralled it’ll be near impossible to drag her away from these cute little critters.
Red pandas are also known as fire foxes because of their colouring and foxy features. Interestingly, the icon for browser Firefox also involves a fox-like animal that could very well be a red panda. Coincidence? We think not!
2. THEN she’ll be jealous that the Giant River Otters make you forget about her!
Much larger than their smaller counterparts, the Giant River Otter can grow up to 1.8m long, although their most outstanding feature isn’t their size, but their super inquisitive personality!
These otters were only too happy to play a game of Chase-The-Handphone, but mind you they’re quite brand conscious. From experience, they prefer iPhone 6+ and in this case, a 360 camera. Your girlfriend’s pretty face won’t do the trick ;).
You’ll be so mesmerized watching them glide so effortlessly through the water it’s easy to forget about the people around you, including your significant other. Oops.
3. You’ll #spoilmarket when you take her on the romantic River Safari Cruise
It’s not every day that you can bring your other half on a leisurely boat ride around the very-scenic Upper Seletar Reservoir, but here at the River Safari that’s exactly what you can do!
This 15 minute boat ride not only gives visitors an unobstructed view of the giraffe and rhinoceros habitats from the neighbouring Night Safari, it also allows you and your girlfriend to enjoy some quality time together admiring the quiet nature surrounding you.
You can even get up close and personal with some animal samples, including giraffe hair and poop! Just remember not to smell the container.
4. She’ll expect you to be the hero in every situation
There are many different types of girls and some of them are particularly squeamish where reptiles are concerned, especially an Indian Gharial that can grow up to a whopping 6 metres in length!
You can pretend to be all macho when thick glass separates you from the prehistoric reptile lurking behind it, but wait till your girlfriend next spots a lizard and wants you to get rid of it. Good luck gents!
5. She won’t leave till she’s seen the Giant Pandas
Possibly one of the biggest highlights of the Singapore River Safari, the two resident Giant Pandas Jia Jia and Kai Kai are generally elusive mammals but can be spotted if they decide to grace you with their presence (or when it’s feeding time).
Out of the two, Kai Kai (the male) is more outgoing and loves to nap after his meals. His partner Jia Jia (female) is less outgoing but can be playful and loves eating carrots. With such cute little faces and personalities, who can blame your girlfriend if she insists on ogling them.
6. Or until she’s had the famous Panda Pau
The panda-monium doesn’t end at the Giant Panda exhibit! Your girlfriend will insist that you bring her to Mama Panda Kitchen, the dedicated restaurant for all things cute and panda-themed!
Apart from the cute panda chairs and background, the Panda Paus are bound to be a HUGE hit not just with her girlfriend but also with her waistline. They come in red bean and chocolate flavours and taste as good as they look! They even come served in little bamboo baskets true to their Chinese heritage. Kudos to the team at River Safari for the attention to detail.
7. She’ll scold you for making her touch scary looking things
Do you know what prehistoric animal this is?
Remember the touch pool at Underwater World? The River Safari has its very own one filled with strange and exotic creatures like the prehistoric horseshoe crab, sea cucumber and chocolate chip sea star (no, you can’t eat this one)!
She might balk at the thought of laying hands on these odd-looking creatures but we think once you’ve finally coaxed her into it, she’ll find that it’s not so bad after all. Even sea cucumbers need some tender loving care too.
8. And for making her look at scary things too
Some of the animals at the River Safari really look out of this world, including the Giant Salamander right here!
Some of them might be hard to spot and others look like a combination of two animals (like this Giraffe Catfish) but they’re all incredibly fascinating to look at and fun to spot.
9. The many-tees might steal her heart
The River Safari’s latest ambassador is a manatee born right at the River Safari itself! Named Canola for the canola oil she was fed as a calf, you can even register online for an exclusive behind-the-scenes tour of the Amazon Flooded Forest and meet her in the flesh!
The best spot for viewing these gentle giants is not from the main display, but off to the left and towards the exit. There’s a small window where the manatees like to gather so you can see them all in the same space! Impress your girlfriend with this pro-tip, but we can’t guarantee that she won’t fall in love with them!
10. River Safari will change the way you guys date FOREVER
From Giant Pandas to Giant Salamanders, romantic boat rides to interactive encounters, there’s no denying that visiting the River Safari will certainly bring your dating standards to whole new levels. Talk about spoiling the market and setting new expectations.
Level up your dating game now!
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Boring, unadventurous and lazy boyfriends, this is your last warning!